Coronsvirus Days 49 – 52 – Tractors and Trains

We heard a loud crash outside the house about 3AM Friday morning.


Now we know what it was. This beautiful sixty foot birch arched over the top of our driveway. Until yesterday that is. The tree perfectly blocked any passage. We were trapped!

So crack of dawn, I slipped on my overalls and work boots, walked urgently to my garden shed, primed my WORX 20 inch chainsaw, sharpened my Fiskars axe, and got to work.

So mid morning, I called my neighbor Linda and asked if her brother Terry could help us. He has a contracting business.

Thanks Terry

So mid morning I called Jeff the pool guy and got his team over with all the tools.

I made myself some coffee.

Once again we are so very lucky with neighbors. Terry Boyles came by with his backhoe within half an hour. He shifted the fallen birch off my driveway in minutes.

Pool Guy Jeff and Bobby the Chainsaw (and Son Little Bobby the Axe) came by soon after and cut my deceased birch into usable logs for my outside fire. I will never need firewood again.

All done. I’m exhausted.

Well, that’s my excitement for Covid week 8.

I was so bored today I friended a bunch of people I don’t like on Facebook, then unfriended them later on after they accepted.

I watched another classic Noir tonight, The Narrow Margin. I do like a good train movie.

So for peril on trains viewing.

Train to Busan – a father and young daughter are trying to reach Busan, South Korea by Train. The train is infested with Zombies. I know, I know – you are not into Zombie movies. Neither am I, but this is killer emotional train trip. A best movie of 2017.

Snowpiercer – in a future decimated by sub zero freezing a mega train must keep moving in perpetual motion around the globes or the hundreds of passengers will perish. The have nots, prisoners in back of the train, fight to take control of the engine, up front, from the elite. Every carriage traveled through brings another surprise. This is an earlier English language entry from Parasite Director Bong Joon-Ho and far more fun.

Ex Birch Tree

The Taking of Pelham 123 – in one of the 1970s best movies a gang of criminals take a group of commuters hostage on the New York subway system. This Manhattan set classic was remade in 2009 starring Denzel and Travolta by primo action Director Tony Scott.

Scott also directed Denzel, with co-star Chris Pine, in another great train movie – Unstoppable. A runaway train carrying a cargo of nasty chemicals is out of control and heading towards a heavily populated Pennsylvanian town. Tarantino picked Unstoppable as a favorite movie of the century.

Murder on the Orient Express – in the ultimate Agatha Christie mystery Hercule Poirot investigates the murder of a nasty millionaire on this lavish train journey. The fun 1970s version was cast with many big movie names of the time , including best Bond Sean Connery. This film is an obvious influence on the recent and equally entertaining Knives Out.

Murder Afoot

And speaking of Bond, enough of From Russia with Love is set on the Orient Express that I qualify it as a train movie. This, the second Bond film and the most literal adaptation of any Fleming book, co-stars Robert Shaw. He’s also the baddie in Pelham 1-2-3. Threads!

The Wrong Trousers – my favorite mini movie climaxes with the ultimate claymation train chase, featuring a dog, a gun and a nasty penguin.

Runaway Train – two lifers escape a maximum security prison in Alaska. The unfortunate inmates take refuge on a train that’s also a runaway and also carrying dangerous chemicals. They have no way to the engine car to stop the locomotive . The first third of the film is also one of the most realistic and intense prison life representations in American cinema. Great performances from John Voight and Eric Roberts earned both Oscar nominations.

Red Hook

The First Great Train Robbery (Sean Connery again) should have been a good movie but it’s not. Written and directed by Michael Crichton, it had pedigree. It’s fun to watch if only for its mistakes. Observe all those electrical and phone lines zip by overhead across the Irish countryside locations. All that would be fine if it wasn’t set in Victorian England.

On the train set book front , I’d highly recommend Girl on the Train. This best selling murder mystery so reminded me of my daily train journey to the city when I lived in London. I found the busy body loser heroine fascinating. She reminded me of some one I work with and can’t stand.

Fascists of the Road

The downside to good weather is it brings out the bicycles, and not everyone that owns one qualifies as a cyclist. Saturday there were lots of unfit idiots out pedaling, tethering in the center of Route 82. As my friend Kevin would describe them, fascists of the road. Quite a number of these struggling non athletes were moving slower on wheels than I walk. Switch gears asshead.

Saturday I was Mikhail’s guest at Red Hook golf club, along with Trey. Sunday was the first factor 30 day of the year out on Columbia Golf – 75 degrees and not a cloud. New York State is loosening the rules. Social distancing is still the order of the day but most courses are now open.

Got Scissors?

I did drop by Agway today to pick up grass seed. There was some obese specimen operating mask and glove free behind the cash register. He waddled repeatedly from the store floor to the back counter, his man titties jiggling, poking his fat thumb in the eye of the masked world. He’s likely one of those know-it-all’s who tells anyone who’ll listen that he never gets sick and that he was once an athlete. This mouth breather was a solid reminder that there are still plenty of selfish idiots out there that think they know better. Give granny a kiss for me! Most of the other staff wore masks.

Hands Free Ball Handling

So we had a new invention introduced on the the Golf Course this week. Taking full advantage of the Covid situation, here we have the Hands Free Remove the Ball from Hole Device Omatic from Kraftwerks. Retails at only $19.99 for one, Or $150 for a set of 18. Color options include Silver; green and Corona Black & Yellow. Someone’s cleaning up.

Wifey Tries Relaxing for a bit.

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