Coronavirus Days 17 – White Trash

Today I left the house. As I said, I was going to golf , come hell or high water. Michiel and myself got the high water. It rained a lot. We did have the whole of the Copake Country Golf Course to ourselves. Muddy but fun.

Another celebrity sighting at the club. Eighties heartthrob, Andrew Mc Carthy, was coming out of the restaurant with take out. The restaurant has a one person in the bar area at a time policy. My sister Ana met McCarthy in Galway when she was only 13. He was very nice to her. She still has his autograph. Aaaaaaah!

Michiel maintained our six foot distancing for the golf round. It was hard for him. He’s a hugger. The holes are now plugged with pink foam to avoid accidental ball contact.

The IGA in Hillsdale was fully stocked and fully staffed. They had some toilet paper. It looked like army surplus though. I’ve used only one roll in two weeks and I’m still stocked for Armageddon. I just bought bread.

After 5 days of isolation I now find it hard to communicate with people.

When all else seems to be falling apart, nothing quite raises the spirits like finding someone to look down on.

Well, there are plenty of people to ridicule in Joe Exotic and the losers he is surrounded by.
Tiger King, the seven part documentary series on Netflix, is an unmissable car wreck watching experience.

Joe Exotic is a gay, gun toting, mullet sporting, private zoo owner, and big cat breeder. And a polygamist. The central story centers on Exotic’s feud with the hateful PETA supporting loon and hypocrite, Carol Baskin. She wants to shut down Joe’s operation. I do have a friend would be so jealous of Carol’s beautiful animal print wardrobe.

Tiger King also delves into the illegal big cat breeding business and the relationships between many of the private zoo owners. The egos are unparalleled and each zoo owner had his own form of lunacy.

The filmmakers scored big with the subject matter. Most of the huge egos featured in the series recorded everything they did. Be warned , not a lot of the cast have full sets of limbs and certainly no dental plans.

My most hateful characters in the series award goes to Carol Baskin her wet sock of a spouse. Her second husband, Howard, a cat whipped sample of a man, looks and sounds like a rejected muppet. Carol’s missing first husband is a whole other story, a story that’s investigated too.

I’ve been told by one friend, Ken, that he often feels like he needs a shower after some of my viewing recommendations. Stock up on the Irish Spring before watching Tiger King.

Tiger King is already in the cultural mainstream. My friend Sean Jackson plans to cover Joe Exotic’s C&W classic Hey, Kitty, Kitty with his band The Ligers. Look out for that on YouTube.

Tiger King will be a hard documentary to beat this year. Watch it – feel superior.

Continuing in the White Trash vein, my movie recommendation is Killer Joe. This is prime Matthew McConnaughy. He plays a corrupt Sheriff, a killer for hire in small town Texas. It’s best described as a southern gothic black comedy crime thriller. The comedy is of the darkest kind. You’ll never look at fried chicken the same way again, after this movie.

The film is based on a play by another Pulitzer Prize Winner, Tracy Letts. So it’s got pedigree.

This movie was directed by William Friedkin, who has a master list of movies on his C.V. , including his Oscar winner, The French Connection. Compiling my top 5 Friedkin list soon.

Dirty White Boys, the 1994 novel by Stephen Hunter is a rollicking read. Lamar Pyie, a monster of a redneck, escapes prison with his mentally challenged cousin. The story follows the manhunt to track them down. Read the first page and tell me you’re not sucked in.

Stephen Hunter is a Pulitzer Prize winner for his film criticism and his novels have a cinematic readability. His Bob Lee Swagger series follow the exploits of the retired Vietnam Sniper hiding out in his cabin in the woods. Hiding from his past and the bottle.

Start the Bob The Nailer series with his first, Point of Impact. The Nailer comes back for one more government mission. You know how that always playd out. Point of Impact was later made as Shooter, a modernized movie version with Mark Wahlberg. That in turn was turned into a TV series. I haven’t watched the series.

Hunter writes compulsively readable pulp.

Abbie and Cathal, seen here today, cooking Irish sausages on their Bushypark, Galway bonfire. Abbie says she likes the added flavor from the melted coke containers Dad (Mark) throws in the flames.

Cathal, an excellent soccer player, explained that he loves when Dad picks him up from practice in their camper.

“The camper,” Cathal explained “Well that camper in conjunction with the bonfire really just feels like an authentic Traveller experience for the family. That little mobile home there really unites us O’ Tooles in these times of crises. Dad will often just drive us to Dunne’s stores parking lot and we sleep there overnight.”

Cathal and Abbie are both looking forward to spending a weeks holiday in the van out at the Galway Racetrack, this coming Summer.

“Much better than The Algarve, “ Abbie added. “The fish and chips are nicer in Ballybrit.”

Mom (Angela), likes to park the camper on the Salthill Promenade when she goes for her evening walk .

“It’s nice to have a cuppa and a Jaffa Cake waiting at the end of my stroll,” Angela told me.

Howard Jones 80s hit Things Can only get Better came on as I was driving today. Could any song be more appropriate these days?

I saw HoJo in concert a couple of years ago with my bestie of 27 years, Maria Mc Laughlin. Maria was that friend with sense back when I none.

Howard stunk in concert. He should shut up and sing.