“Where’s me gold? Where’s me gold?”

Time to track down that scrappy leprechaun. I’m in South Bend, Indiana.

Seven years ago I would have gotten to know every bartender as I crossed the country. Now I’m getting to meet every barista. Seven years ago I’d have seen two states: Drunk and Hungover.

Boom town, Sandusky on one of the main drags is where I went for my morning coffee surge. The staff was hugely welcoming. I chatted with the girls behind the counter and Cristina, a local stylist for Stichfix. All three ladies helped me out a lot with travel recommendations and local knowledge. Very good cappuccinos – I stayed for a second.

A very good friend and myself have a long standing competition to find the most bizarre and inane museums. Mine, to date, is the SPAM Museum in Austin, Minnesota. His is the Herring Era Museum in Iceland.

As I was leaving Sandusky I happened on The Merry-Go-Round Museum. How could I not? It’s set in a stately, pillared , converted Post office. Gerry, on the ticket window, started volunteering there when she retired 24 years ago and very kindly gave me the two minute history. The displays at the museum are colorful and cheerful. One of the fun pieces, from the reindeer carousel display, was featured at a Christmas reading in the White House. The centerpiece is full working carousel. I took the token but never took the ride. It had a  Something Wicked This Way Comes vibe plus,  I get motion sickness.

Then 208 miles to South Bend. I took the blue highways as much as google maps would let me and got to see a lot of the back country.

Lesson learned and confirmed today, I do not like fictional audio books. All that D-Lister voicing just gets on my titties. Tried “I am Legend (I am Bob)” and found the reader annoyingly sardonic and the writing juvenile.

So, I went with the two available episodes of Dr. Death (podcast), from the crew behind the exceptional Dirty John. For those that know me, it’s right up my alley. So be warned.

Also on today’s play list, American Kingpin – the story of the modern Silk Road. I’m hooked.

Once again, I last minute booked with Hotel Tonight and scored a great rate and a large suite at The Varsity Clubs of America. Tammy and the girls at the front desk went above and beyond the call of duty getting me well situated and providing lots of local information. Tammy even found me an online national list of oddball museums by State.

Managed to get to the gym at the Hotel today and had the place to myself. A lot of large people peeped in the door.

With the Notre Dame game here Saturday they were looking at crazy money to stay a second night. Someone said they are trying out a new pitcher.

As I’ve now departed Ohio here are my recommendations for books and films based in that State.

Books: Little Fires Everywhere; A Simple Plan; Everything I Never Told You

Films: Silence of the Lambs; Heathers; Lolita (Kubrick original); Chicken People (documentary on the Westminster  of Poultry) and Gummo (my brother in law never thought the same of me after he watched it).

We should all watch Deliverance tonight in memory of Burt Reynolds. Its my favorite of his and his proudest work. Or Boogie Nights, his Oscar nomination. Once the world’s biggest box office star, the guy worked right up to his 82nd year. Gotta love him.

Dinner tonight was at Livery in South Bend. They have a Great Mahi Mahi taco in a beautiful new location. They are just open a week and a half. Nice buzz.

My relevant random song today:  “Cars” – Gary Numan.

Can anyone tell me what Quaker Steak and Lube are? Does one go there for a Beef Rub? I keep seeing these signs.

Today’s Tally:
Hotel $85
Dinner: $33
Merry-Go-Round Museum: $6
Christmassy Things from Merry-Go-Round Store: $26

Let me start with a confession. I thought the  Wi-Fi password of “Garfield” last night at the hotel was because some manager thinks that annoying cat is cute. Turns out some President’s National Historic Site is in Mentor.

The day started with the breakfast buffet. Those are always such bleak gatherings: Limp coffee, mediocre eggs, cranky people (me). No more.

Because I learned that Willoughby, a town close by Mentor, was the feature in the classic episode of The Twilight Zone – A Stop at Willoughby – I watched it last night on Netflix and drove there today. I will say the poor lead actor looked a bit long in the tooth for a supposed 36 year old and he seemed a bit young for a midlife crises. The wife looked like she’d been around the block a few times too. Saying all that, TTZ are still without compare. They remain seminal, spooky, smart and repeatedly watchable…..

….. Anyway, I took a walk around Willoughby today. It’s got a grand little historic area with quaint restaurants, coffee shops, bars and knick-knack stores.

I stopped in at Fiona’s, a bright, comfortable coffee spot and got chatting with the proprietors, Megan and Shamus. Great coffee. It turned out that their family, the Coynes and Mores, hail from County Mayo. Their family also owns The Wild Goose, The Morehouse and a Funeral Home in Willoughby. So if you want to get drunk, eat well or perhaps bury someone in Ohio, these are the guys to know.

From there I went on to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. I found the 2nd and 3rd floors far more appealing than the main exhibit on the basement level. Too many flamboyantly dressed dummy’s in the shadows down there. They gave me the willies (lifelong phobias). Glad I did it once though. Fantastic gift store and I needed more rock tees and crap for my office.

Because I had the avoid highways option set on Google Maps today, and needed to go to Home Depot for a ratchet cable  (long story but a very butch project), I inadvertently got to see some of the more savory neighborhoods of Cleveland.

Then 45 miles along the perimeter of Lake Erie to get to Sandusky. And here I am now. I made one stop in Huntington Park on the drive to see the beach and get full lake view.

I’m staying at Hotel Kilbourne in Sandusky tonight – a small, central boutique with a waterfront rooftop bar.

A good friend, wise in the ways of SNL, tells me Tommy Boy was set here. As a complete movie snob, I have never seen it. Now that I have been to Sandusky, I will still never see it.

Today’s Tally:
Gas: $48
Hotel Kilbourne booked on Hotel Tonight $121 (score)
R&RHOF ticket $26
R&RHOF Necessary Souvenirs $42
Dinner at Daly’s Pub – Cheesesteak and Soda: $9.60 … the only place open at 9PM I could find.

I need to shorten my posts.

R&RHOF

Sandusky

Lake Erie

Three States Traversed Today. Try saying that with a brogue .

I put 540 miles on the dial Tuesday, to get a quick westward spurt.

I’m in Mentor, Ohio – ranked 37th best town to live in the United States . I arrived in the dark so hard to tell yet.

There was lots of foostering with the radio today. Lots of New Wave & Euro Trash. The most appropriate song for today’s trip : “Road To Nowhere” – Talking Heads. It was a long one. I90W all the way.

On the Audio book front, I was 10 minutes in to GOT before I threw it in. The narrators characterizations sounded Monty Python sketch like. I quit before I heard Jamie Lannister in full Spam-Spam-Spam-Spam mode. No way I was dealing with 40 hours of that.

I did binge all five episodes of The Making of a Massacre on Audible (non fiction ). Topical and very good but not for the squeamish.

As I got in a bit late to the hotel, the Concierge recommended BJs. Where initially I was a little disappointed to realize a restaurant was under discussion – the bacon guacamole burger there was very good, as was the coffee. The staff there were all delightful and I got some great recommendations for Mentor.

Audrey, Jessica & Regina Welcome me to Mentor First Stop!

Not in Mentor – but it amused me.

OfficeMaxed Out Mentor

Toothpicks!

Keeping track of costs, just for shits and giggles:

• Gas $54
• Best Western Plus Lawmfield Inn with brekkie $113 (My first Hotels.com last minute booking a success!)
• Dinner at BJs: $13 pre-tip!

For the record, I am not the Jack Reacher of cross country travel.  This will not be the journey of a man with a toothbrush in his back pocket, one pair of jeans, a tee shirt and a debit card. Do we even know what Reacher does on the undies front?

My big maroon Escalade will be overstocked with clothes, books and sundries.

Digital Camera

Digital Camera

Digital Camera

Here’s My Travel Inventory:

• One 2006 Escalade – Maroon. It’s big – I’m loading it.
• Enough socks and knickers for a month. I want to do laundry once only on this trip. Never if possible.
• Way too many shoes, belts and boots. Will I finally get to wear those 6 year old shit-kickers in Nashville?
• 30+ concert and film t-shirts. These are always good for starting conversations. What Missourian doesn’t love Pet Shop Boys?
• Some gym clothes (I’ve great intentions).
• A dozen dress shirts and a dozen pair of trousers/jeans/shorts.
• A few hoodies, sweatshirts and jumpers.
• A Big wash bag – including my Kiehls, Art of Shaving and BVLGARI products. The road can be hard on a man’s skin.
• An online purchased grooming kit that seems to deal with some functions I never want to touch. I’m not sticking that in there.
• A few jackets / dressy to knock around.
• Assorted Baseball caps – Depeche Mode; ELO; Foo Fighters; AC/DC – five panel of course.
• IPhone; iPad; Laptop; portable Bluetooth player and a truck load of chargers and cables. I have loaded every Hotel booking app known to man; Podcasts; Audible; Amazon Music; the first Game of Throne book. It’s 40 hours long. Holy God!
• A couple of Michelin Road maps and road atlas I cannot follow. I had no idea Alaska was so close to Hawaii.
• A yellow submarine notebook.
• 200 CDs – for those dead zones
• 2 dozen books – the paper kind – I’m old school. Nothing too taxing for the road. Will I finally read Dune?
• A  couple of throw blankets. I’ve had visions of Jack at the end of The Shining.
• Two flashlights; a plastic skull for the dashboard and a POW/MIA cap. Some Texan friends gifted these as a form of local road protection.
• Malaria tablets; penicillin; morphine; Cyanide tablet embedded in false tooth filling and Advil.

153,681 on the milometer thing.
Departing Ancram, NY Tuesday September 4^th. First Destination Mentor, Ohio.

My obvious driving song to kick it all off:  “Behind the Wheel” – Depeche Mode.
Who cares if it’s about sexual dominance?

Let the games begin.